


The Quacker-Beagle Bust

by AJtheBlueJay



Series: Diabolical Meets Dangerous [2]
Category: Darkwing Duck (Cartoon 1991), Disney Duck Universe, DuckTales (Cartoon 2017), PKNA - Paperinik New Adventures
Genre: Action/Adventure, Canon-Typical Violence, Car Chases, Crossover, Gen, Partnership, Robbery, Superheroes, diabolical meets dangerous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-25 08:27:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30086250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AJtheBlueJay/pseuds/AJtheBlueJay
Summary: Darkwing Duck and Duck Avenger chase the Beagle Boys and Quackerjack through Duckburg after the two rob the Money Bin.
Relationships: Drake Mallard & Paperinik
Series: Diabolical Meets Dangerous [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1263023
Comments: 6
Kudos: 20





	The Quacker-Beagle Bust

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for Diabolical Meets Dangerous Two. Enjoy!

The setting sun sparkled rays of yellow and orange across the Audubon Bay’s deep blue water. Gentle waves splashed against the sandy edge of Killmotor Hill, a lonely piece of land only minutes away from Duckburg’s coast. Atop it was a grand concrete building with a red dome roof and an eye-catching golden dollar sign on its front.

The Money Bin was truly a Calisota landmark.

The normally bustling headquarters of McDuck Enterprises were currently still, all of the employees having long since gone home. The entire facility was dark, so as not to waste power.

But that didn’t mean the place was completely empty.

“Sure is quiet tonight.”

“That’s ‘cause everyone is gone, Bouncer.”

“I knew that, Big Time, but...it’s weird. Ol Scroogie’s Money Bin is so different at night. It’s kinda...spooky.”

“Aw, stop yer gripin’ and break the door down. You wasn’t built for thinkin’.”

Big Time Beagle shoved his much taller and more densely packed brother towards the wooden door in front of them. Bouncer Beagle looked down at his brother’s scowl, then back to the door. He took a couple steps backward, then moved his shoulder out in front of him. 

Inhaling and exhaling, the Beagle Boys’ muscle ran forward and burst through the door. It swung wide from its locked position, throwing splinters forward and into Scrooge McDuck’s office.

Big Time peered inside for a moment at the well-kept and modest space, before his eyes went straight to the tall steel vault door toward the left. He rubbed his hands and snickered deviously before strutting in like he owned the place. 

These three Beagle Boys came from a large family of thieves, swindlers, and all-around bad people. They specialized in accumulating as much wealth as possible by any means necessary. And no one in Duckburg had as much money as the legendary Scrooge McDuck. With how many times the Beagle Boys had tried to raid McDuck’s famous Money Bin, they might as well have a stake in McDuck Enterprises. Not that they’d ever buy stock the legal way.

“Megabyte, do your stuff,” whispered Big Time, motioning toward the door. A lankier Beagle Boy with large glasses walked toward the vault door and pressed on a rivet. It sunk like a cold button, uncovering a hidden electronic panel. He plugged a handheld device into a port on the panel and proceeded to execute a program that would unlock the vault and reveal untold riches.

Big Time tapped his foot impatiently as the seconds ticked on. “What’s taking so long?” he hissed.

“You’ll have to excuse me,” said Megabyte. “The security measures are vastly divergent from the previous scenario, and I must update my parameters to compensate.”

Big Time and Bouncer stared at their brother with deep-seated confusion. Megabyte had a tendency to speak in technobabble and often left his less mentally gifted brothers in the dust.

“Say it in Beagle talk!” Big Time and Bouncer groaned.

“McDumb’s changed the code again,” said Megabyte, tapping furiously on his device.

“Swell. Just swell,” said Big Time, throwing his hands in the air.

Bouncer scratched his head. “Maybe that’s why he gave Gizmoduck the day off.”

“That sappy two-bit do-gooder never takes a vacation. He’s probably off on some crummy mission somewhere’s else. Or helping some old codger across a street.”

“That’s pretty nice of him, ya gotta admit,” said Bouncer.

“Shaddap!” spat Big Time. “We’re lucky he is, otherwise, we’d be off to jail faster ‘n you can say ‘Blathering-‘ _”_

Big Time froze and looked around frantically. Everything was still. “Phew...Almost called Gizmodweeb to action.” He turned his renewed ire to Megabyte. “Would you hurry it up?!”

Megabyte stuck his tongue out at Big Time. “Chill your chips. I’m almost done.”

His fingers drummed on his device for a moment more, then a resounding thunk changed Big Time’s mood instantly. Megabyte had cracked the lock.

“Bouncer?” Big Time pointed at the door and Bouncer stepped up to it. He grabbed a handle and with a satisfying _thunk,_ he yanked the heavy door open. 

The dark office was bathed in light as the reflection from billions of coins inside the vault painted the room in an addictive hue of gold, ruby and emerald. The Beagle Boys’ eyes sparkled with wonder at the sight of three cubic acres of money and treasure, free for the taking.

“Moolah mountain, here we come! Let’s go, Beagles!” said Big Time, running inside. He slid down the ladder just outside the door with Megabyte not too far behind. Bouncer, meanwhile, dove headfirst into the money sea. The two smaller beagles touched down onto the cash, feeling it give only slightly under their feet. They looked to their left in time to see Bouncer slam his head onto the money floor, then fall onto his back.

“Leave the money divin’ to Scroogie,” snarked Big Time, “and stick to what yer good at: baggin’ dough.”

Bouncer sat up and shook his head, dazed but otherwise unharmed. Big Time tossed a burlap sack in his direction and laughed as it draped over Bouncer’s head.

Everything inside the money bin was fair game and the Beagle Boys shoveled as much as they could into their sacks. They swiped priceless jewels, ancient artifacts, and of course, the countless gold coins that filled the cavernous concrete space. All the prized monetary possessions that Scrooge worked for were here for them to take. In no time, the sacks were overflowing with a small fortune.

“I anticipate a heavy profit from these goods,” chuckled Megabyte.

“You can say that again,” said Big Time, tying up his sack. “And we’ll make a killing from McDuck’s treasure too!”

Megabyte scoffed. “That’s what I said.”

Big Time laughed heartily. “You bet! And the best part? No one even knows we’re here!”

As if on cue, a poof emanated from the door and Big Time immediately tensed up. It couldn’t have been, could it? He looked back to see blue smoke creeping down the ladder toward them.

It sure wasn’t Gizmoduck. But who was it?

“Uh, boss?” said Bouncer, teeth chattering. “W-what’s goin’ on?”

“Alright, who are ya, and what’s the big idea?” shouted Big Time defiantly.

An unknown voice let out a menacing cackle and all three Beagle Boys rushed to one another for protection.

“T-this is our job, buddy. G-go an’ f-find yer own!” Big Time asserted, voice shaking despite his attempts to keep cool.

“I am the terror that flaps in the night!” echoed the mysterious voice. It was flamboyant and heroic, not unlike Gizmoduck.

Another voice came into the picture, livelier and a little quacky. “I am the dollar that breaks the Beagles’ back!” That one was familiar.

“Duck Avenger?!” squeaked Megabyte.

“Forgot about _me,_ Beagles?” said Duck Avenger, Duckburg’s _other_ masked defender of justice. “Oh, and I brought a buddy o’ mine too…”

The ball of smoke at the door was swept away with the wave of two capes to reveal Duck Avenger in his black jumpsuit and yellow boots, as well an unfamiliar hero in a purple coat and wide-brimmed gray hat. 

His eyes shined behind his purple mask as he threw his cape behind him. “I am Darkwiiiiiiiing Duck!”

The Beagle Boys backed toward the wall as Darkwing and Duck Avenger hopped down into the money, kicking up coins with their landing. They followed until the Beagles were cornered.

Duck Avenger held up his X-Transformer and aimed his fist at the criminals. “Now are you bums gonna come quietly, or are we gonna have to get dangerous?”

Darkwing cleared his throat obnoxiously, breaking Duck Avenger’s concentration long enough for him to raise his eyebrow at the duck.

“Oh, we’ll be goin’, but it ain’t gonna be quietly,” said Big Time, flashing a devious grin. “Jack!”

“Jack?” Darkwing questioned.

At that moment, a section of wall erupted out, scattering concrete chunks amongst Scrooge’s pile of money and blowing hero and burglar alike off their feet and across the Bin. Darkwing shook off the dust and coins and gasped. The Beagle Boys were crawling out of the fresh hole!

Darkwing scurried to the edge and looked down to see the Beagles falling down onto what looked like a giant cushion upon a truck. The truck had a duck jester’s smarmy visage plastered on it, the trademark of a certain ruined toy maker.

“Quackerjack…” said Darkwing, cracking his knuckles. Duck Avenger joined him and yelped when the truck stories below started to peel out.

“We’ve gotta catch them!” Duck Avenger declared.

Darkwing looked at him, slightly perturbed. “I’m pretty sure getting dangerous is _my_ thing.”

Duck Avenger rolled his eyes. “We are not discussing that now. Let’s get to the Ratcatcher!” The shorter hero dove out of the hole, and activated the rocket on the X-Transformer, gliding all the way to the ground with ease.

“Oh, yes we are!” Darkwing called out, jumping out after him. He used his cape as a makeshift parachute to float down gingerly. Touching down, the two heroes made their way around the building to the front where Darkwing’s motorcycle was parked in a row of hedges.

“No, we’re not,” griped Duck Avenger. “There are more important things right now than your silly catchphrases.”

“But I worked hard to come up with that! The least you can do is respect it!” 

Duck Avenger dragged the sleek and stylish Ratcatcher from its leaky storage and hopped into the sidecar. “Look, if we don’t catch the Beagle Boys, I’m gonna lose more than respect from Uncle Scrooge! Come on!”

Darkwing sighed and followed suit, revving the engine. “That I won’t argue with.” 

The engine roared to life and the pair zoomed down Killmotor Hill and across the bridge that led into Duckburg proper.

The crowds seemed to get thicker and thicker as Darkwing and Duck Avenger sped down the streets into downtown, the warehouses and office buildings rapidly morphing into towering skyscrapers plastered with colorful Jumbotrons.

“One, I’d sure like to know where those flagrant felons fled to,” said Darkwing, blowing his horn at anyone getting in the way.

“I’m working on it,” came a calm voice over the X-Transformer. “They’re going to wish their mother wasn’t so protective once I find their GPS signal.”

One was the most powerful artificial intelligence ever created, and Duck Avenger’s faithful partner.

“Mother?” Darkwing inquired, taken aback. “They’re a _family_ of thieves?”

“A pain in Unk’s tail since he made camp on Killmotor Hill,” said Duck Avenger. “I’m surprised Gizmoduck is outta town. He’s supposed to be the bin’s bodyguard.”

“Probably busy with a surplus of kittens in trees,” Darkwing sneered.

“D.A.! D.W.! I have them! Make a left here!”

Darkwing almost missed it but noticed just in time. The tires squealed as he made the turn, cutting off cross-traffic in the process. Horns blared out, but became quieter as they sped away.

“Are you nuts?!” Duck Avenger yelled. “You nearly killed us!”

Darkwing smirked, unfazed. “Oh, please. I’ve made deadlier maneuvers just last week!”

“Spoken like a true St. Canardian,” Duck Avenger sassed, “Defensive driving must be a foreign concept.”

Darkwing seemed to not hear him. “Where to now, One?”

“They’re heading toward the nightlife district. Make the upcoming right turn, then the first left, and you’ll see them.”

“Roger that. Get ready for some defensive driving, Avenger!” 

Guess he did.

Darkwing followed One’s directions, dodging cars and weaving in between the lanes. Bystanders jumped out of the way as the Ratcatcher turned onto the sidewalk. Duck Avenger screamed for the citizens to get out of the way. Pedestrians dived toward the shops as the Ratcatcher plowed past a traffic jam, then returned to the road, any regard for the speed limit having been thrown out long ago. 

“Are you nuts?!” Duck Avenger howled.

“Oh, please, like you’ve never done this before!” Darkwing shot back.

“Yeah, but it was in the air, in an armored car, AWAY FROM PEOPLE!”

Upon turning left, Duckburg’s nightlife district revealed its full splendor. The neon lights and electronic billboards kept the streets as bright as daytime for the millions of bystanders to see by and cast all objects in a rainbow of color.

This made it all the more easy for Duck Avenger to spot Quackerjack’s infamous logo a few cars ahead of them.

“Right there!” he pointed.

Darkwing smiled and gunned the Ratcatcher, whizzing through each hole in traffic with abandon. 

Inside, Quackerjack peeked out a window on the back door and cackled loudly upon seeing his favorite plaything bearing down on them.?“Oh, I love it when my friends come over to play!”

“What?!” Big Time exclaimed from the driver’s seat. “Take ‘em out, Jacky!”

Quackerjack looked back and shook his head. “I’m sorry, gentlemen, but I’m afraid I must now break off our temporary partnership.”

“Yer just as bad as Megabyte!”

He clonked Megabyte on the head and threw a box into the cab. “Sayonara, suckers! Hoo-Hoo-Hoo!”

The box was ripped to shreds as mechanical chattering teeth were unleashed on all three Beagle Boys. They howled in pain as countless teeth clattered and chomped on anything soft and pudgy in range. Bouncer bailed out through the passenger door and his brothers tumbled after, crashing into a fruit stand and spreading juicy grocery carnage all across the sidewalk.

“What the…?” said Duck Avenger, seeing the truck wavering toward the left into another lane. Suddenly, it straightened again and the new driver peeked out at the heroes hot on his heels, and blew a loud raspberry.

“IT’S PLAYTIME!” Quackerjack shouted. He returned his attention to the road as a giant nozzle rose up from the truck and pointed right at the Ratcatcher.

Missiles of whipped cream fired from the nozzle and splattered all around the heroes. Darkwing dodged them as best he could. One whizzed by, leaving the faintest tinge on his cheeks. He whizzed around to see it careen with a car’s windshield, leading to the car’s emergency stop and every car colliding and piling behind like sardines.

They were now inches away from the truck. Darkwing looked down at his friend in the sidecar. “Take the wheel, D.A.”

“Huh? What are you doing?”

Darkwing pressed the autopilot button on the dash and rose to his feet. “I’m gonna remind you what ‘getting dangerous’ means to me.” 

He winked at a flabbergasted Duck Avenger and jumped from the Ratcatcher seat. He collided with the back of the truck and wobbled on the small edge, gripping tightly to a handle so he wouldn’t fall off.

He looked back at Duck Avenger, who had taken his seat on the Ratcatcher, looking plenty relieved. “You didn’t see that. Just keep tailing us!” he shouted.

Duck Avenger nodded.

Darkwing grasped the top edge and heaved himself on top of the trailer. He face-planted and barely missed a creamy end. He took out his gas gun and fired a grenade into the nozzle. He didn’t hesitate, firing his grappling hook, latching onto a bar atop the cab.

A sharp right turn made him slide off the trailer and he yelped as he gripped onto the rope for dear life. He swung around and slammed into the driver side door.

“Darkwing!” Duck Avenger cried, and at that moment, an SUV cut him off, blocking him from the Quackerjack’s truck.

Holding onto the side mirror, Darkwing shook off the hurt to see the jester laugh. “Come in and wipe your feet!” 

He opened the door and shook it back and forth, trying to get rid of Darkwing. But he held on tight even as he slammed into the window repeatedly.

“Shoo fly, don’t bother me!” Quackerjack growled.

“Not a chance!” said Darkwing, swinging inside the cab, feet outstretched. Quackerjack grunted in pain as foot met face.

Duck Avenger saw a red light approaching. There was no way he’d catch up with the Beagles if he were to wait it out. Duck Avenger smirked. “Time for some of my own ‘dangerous.’”

“Excuse me?” asked One.

Duck Avenger gunned the Ratcatcher and squeezed in between two lanes at a stop. As he roared into oncoming traffic, Duck Avenger punched a button on the dash. The motorcycle sprung 15 feet into the air and over a sedan. “Yee-haw!” hollered Duck Avenger, off his seat and flying through the air, hanging onto the handlebars and doing the splits. He touched down onto the road behind the truck once again.

Quackerjack socked Darkwing across the beak, making him fall backward onto the seat, half of him over the road. “Finder’s keepers, Dripwing!”

“Nice double-cross, Quackerjack.”

Quackerjack pinned Darkwing by the chest with one strong hand. “Why share your toys when you can have them all?”

Darkwing grunted. For such a thin duck, Quackerjack was stronger than he let on.

“Alright, duck, time to go night-night!” cackled Quackerjack, cracking his neck.

Darkwing smirked. “I couldn’t agree more.” He inhaled and pulled the trigger and the cab filled with sleeping gas. Quackerjack was out like a light in mere seconds, slumping against the dash. Darkwing opened the window to let the gas out, then took control of the steering wheel. 

He turned it to the left, but nothing happened.

Huh?

He turned it to the right, but the truck kept going straight, until it turned left as if on its own, frustrating many an evening commuter. He shoved Quackerjack off the dash. The autopilot button was depressed and lit up where the evil clown had been.

“Gosh darned autopilot…” grumbled Darkwing, as he began pressing random buttons on the dashboard to try and turn it off and steer the truck away from what he assumed was the Beagle Boys’ hideout.

 _This_ was why he had a pilot.

The buttons and switches did everything from blast the A/C, to blast KDUQ, to blasting washer fluid across the windshield. but nothing seemed to work. 

In frustration and panic, he whacked the horn three times. A computer voice gently announced, “Emergency brake engaged.”

Darkwing went bug-eyed and buckled up as fast as he could. As soon as the belt latched into the buckle a deafening screech emanated from the tires. Darkwing was thrown forward from the decrease in speed, the belt stopping him from going through the windshield. The truck veered to the right and clipped onto the sidewalk, catching brief air. 

Duck Avenger saw this and ducked into an alley, bringing the Ratcatcher to a screeching halt. 

A frightened bystander dove out of the way as the truck crashed into his hot dog stand then into a department store’s display window. Darkwing was smushed against the seat by the airbag as glass crashed and tinkled to the pavement, and buns and wieners were thrown against mannequins in designer clothes, covering them in a variety of condiments.

Darkwing swatted the deflating airbag away, and put a hand on his dazed head. It was so much more sensitive since the Evronian adventure, and he was reminded of that every time this sort of thing happened.

Oh well. Nothing that Darkwing Duck couldn’t take in stride.

Darkwing unbuckled, shoved the truck door open, and stumbled out of the smoky wreckage. Amongst the blaring horns along this busy intersection, a crowd had begun to surround the crash outside the department store and Duck Avenger was among them, rushing toward Darkwing.

“D.W., buddy! Are you okay?” he asked, concern across his beak.

Darkwing gave him a thumbs up. “Shaken but not stirred, D.A.”

Duck Avenger smiled at him, and Darkwing smiled back. Another successful crime bust. If a little messy. “Maybe we can get the loot back to the Bin before he even notices it’s gone.”

“My stand!” came a shout above the growing chatter. The owner of the now totaled hot dog stand stood over the wreckage, hands in the air in shock and amazement.

Duck Avenger glared at Darkwing, and Darkwing flashed a guilty grin back at him. “Well, gee,” he said, laughing nervously, “them’s the brakes.”

Duck Avenger rolled his eyes at the awful pun, then turned to the distraught hot dog man. “Send the bill to McDuck Enterprises.”

+++

_ “Good evening, and welcome to Channel 00 News at Six. I’m Roxanne Featherly. Our Top Story tonight: the Beagle Boys have been busted again after their getaway truck driven by Quackerjack was crashed into a hot dog stand in downtown Duckburg. Local crimefighter the Duck Avenger was behind the capture along with up-and-coming out-of-towner Darkwing Duck. Roving reporter Lyla Lee is live at the crash site. Lyla?” _

_ The chestnut-blonde reporter nodded as the broadcast cut to her. “Thank you, Roxanne. I’m here at 36th and Angones where the crash happened. When we arrived, police had the Beagle Boys in handcuffs and were securing the contents of their truck, which may have come from Scrooge McDuck’s Money Bin.” She walked away from the truck, the camera following her to reveal the two heroes responsible. _

_ As the Beagle Boys came into view, Big Time sang like a canary. “We was double-crossed! That shifty jester was supposed to split tha loot 50-50! And we were hung out ta dry!” _

_ “This is why Ma said we shouldn’t talk to strangers,” sighed Bouncer.  _

_ The camera turned back to Lyla. “With me now are Duck Avenger and Darkwing Duck to give their thoughts on the event. How are you, gentlemen?” _

_ “Pretty good,” said Duck Avenger. _

_ “Just peachy, Miss Lee,” said Darkwing. _

_ “Nothing broken, I hope, Darkwing?” _

_ “Not a scratch. It takes more than a trashed truck to dent Darkwing Duck.” Darkwing polished his fingers on his jacket. _

_ “Now, I understand that Gizmoduck was not around at his post to catch the Beagle Boys. Is that why you two intervened?” _

_ “Of course that’s why!” said Darkwing, taking charge. “Someone has to protect the city from criminals, and it’s better us than him! That two-bit hunk of metal wouldn’t know a true hero if-” _

_ “He was not around because he was on assignment for me!” _

_ The camera whipped around to capture Scrooge McDuck himself hopping out of his limousine and waddling over to them.  _

_ Lyla rushed over. “Ah, Mr. McDuck! Lyla Lee, Channel 00 News. What brings you here tonight?” _

_ Scrooge tipped his glossy top hat to the group before saying, “I just thought I should thank the lads who kept me fortune accounted for tonight.” _

_ Darkwing’s eyes were starry as the most powerful duck in Duckburg shook his hand, then Duck Avenger’s.  _

_ “No problem, Unk- I mean, ugh!” he said, devolving into a coughing fit. _

“Smooth, Donny,” Darkwing remarked.

“Oh, hush. You try having an uncle who’s the richest duck in the world.”

_ “Are you alright, Duck Avenger?” Lyla asked. _

_ Duck Avenger cleared his throat. “Fine, Lyla. Stray dust, is all. Allergies.” _

_ Scrooge shrugged. “It is hard work keeping our fair city safe. I’d be more than happy to offer either of you jobs. With Gizmoduck alongside ye both, we’d have quite a team.” _

_ Before either one could respond, the camera panned back to Lyla. “Breaking from the crash site, Darkwing Duck and Duck Avenger offered jobs with McDuck Enterprises! We’ll bring you more as this develops. For now, I’m Lyla Lee in downtown Duckburg. Back to you!” _


End file.
